10 Things Every Parent Wants from Their Child's Therapist

In my nearly 17 years as a pediatric Speech Therapist, I have tried to learn as much as I can from my patients and their families.  In a recent discussion about a newer patient's previous therapy experiences (trying to understand what they worked on/what methods they used), her mother said something that has stayed in my mind ever since.  "There are therapists and then there are good therapists."  She went on to explain that her daughter had multiple therapists in various disciplines.  Some of them just came and did their job, while others she deemed as "good therapists".  So I started thinking about other parent comments throughout my tenure and even asked some of the families about what makes a good therapist.  Then I stumbled upon this article: http://parentingspecialneeds.org/article/54.  It really got me thinking.

The following list is in no particular order as I would not presume to know what is most or least important to each family.  My hope is that this list will serve to be an inspiration for those of us who are blessed to work with special children and their extraordinary families.  Inspiration to be better, to be exceptional, to be a blessing to all we have the pleasure to work with.  I also hope it puts into words the desires of the hearts of all who love a person with a disability.  I hope you will listen to your heart and advocate for the special person in your life who needs extra help to reach their full potential.  Help the "experts" in your life to understand your child, their needs, your hopes and dreams for them and how you and your family want to be involved in this process. 

10 Things Every Parent Wants From Their Child's Therapist:
1. Care about my child.  Be happy to see them.  Smile.  Greet them.  Give a high 5.  Let them hug you.  Hug back.  Be genuinely concerned when we get bad news and genuinely happy when we have a victory.  Remember my child's birthday.  None of us are guaranteed another year, but it is especially precarious for some children.
2. Care about my family.  Remember things that are important to us.  Know me by name (not "mom", "dad", "grandma") and my other children's names.  Talk to my other children too, it's not always fun for them to go to the numerous appointments we have each week.  Remember doctor's appointments and ask about them after.
3. Be good at what you do...know your stuff.  Take the time to research things you haven't seen before.  Pick courses to attend that will help you better meet my child's needs.  Share what you learned with me.
4. Admit what you don't know...then look it up.  I won't think you are less of an "expert" because you don't know it all.  I want to know that you are willing to learn, that's all.
5. Push my child to succeed.  Expect him to.  Don't give up on my child.  Don't accept that she can't learn.  Look past the behaviors.  Look past the attempts to distract you.  Realize it's hard for my child, but keep trying.
6. It may be your job, but it's my child.  Be passionate about what you do.  My child knows when you aren't.  We know when you aren't.  
7. Give me reasonable things to do at home.  Seek to understand my home situation.  Realize that I have other children or a sick parent I am taking care of.  Understand that I have multiple appointments in my week for my child.  Give me things to do so that I can feel successful and not defeated.  Watch my body language, listen to my stories of the week we just had and tailor the homework accordingly.  
8.  Resource me.  Help me find other resources for services, funding, supplies, parenting help, respite care, family counseling, etc.  Send stuff home with me.  Whether it's copies of what you are using at therapy or things you make (daily schedules, social stories), I appreciate it all.  I realize you don't have to anything outside of our session.  Go above and beyond my expectations.  
9. Appreciate the small steps my child makes, as well as the major breakthroughs.  Verbalize the small steps my child is making toward his goals.  It helps me to see them and to know that you see them too.
10. Take into account what is important to us when making your goals.  It may be toilet training, wearing her seat belt, saying his phone number, interacting with children at school or church, saying family members' names, writing her name, being able to go up and down the slide at recess, or being able to eat with the family.  I appreciate all that you know about my child's development and progressing through skills, but I also appreciate you asking what is important to us.

For professionals, I want to thank you for taking the time to read this.  That speaks a lot about you and your desire to meet the needs of the children and families we serve.  I hope this motivates you to be every improving how we do what we do.  So pick the thing that stood out to you and work on that.  For me, I have trouble remembering names.  So a colleague of mine passed along that she had written the parents' names in red marker on the outside of the chart.  I copied her idea and have been practicing using their names in our conversations during therapy.  It really is the little things that make the difference.  I also set up a parent resource bulletin board in the waiting room which we stock with articles about parenting classes, special diet recipes, advocating for your child, financial planning, support groups and many more relevant and timely topics.  Please post any ideas you have found that really worked for you in the comments section.


For parents, I hope this resonates with you.  I hope it validates how you are feeling.  Please feel free to comment below and add your experiences.  I have tried to speak positively about what parents want and not  focus on what therapists are not, so please phrase your comments that way.